Judas Asparagus

If you need a laugh today, then this should do it!

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???

Through the eyes of a child:

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.

Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

Ruby Tuesday

Mary, the teach hosts Ruby Tuesday. Stop by and leave your name on Mr. Linky and play along with us.

We are supposed to have ice again tomorrow, so I may have more icy red leaves to show for Ruby Tuesday. It has been a long time since I've remembered to post a picture of something red on the right day!

Had to come back and make the correction to the red icy leaves...that isn't correct...it is icy red leaves. It was late when I was posting this one..k

The New Year of the Ox-Gung Hei Fat Choy

Gung Hei Fat Choy

Happy Chinese New Year, today begins the year of the Ox. I'm hoping this year will be better than last year, the year of the Rat, but the Rat is most compatible with the Monkey, the year I was born. So, not that much better probably. I can't imagine how bad it would have been if it had been a sign that didn't get along with the Monkey. Yikes! It is supposed to be a good year and very productive by hard working people. I guess sort of like when President Obama said it is time for us to get up, dust ourselves off, and get to work. President Obama was born during the year of the Ox.

Here is what to people born under the sign of the Ox are like

"In the Chinese zodiac, people who are born in the Year of the Ox are considered as calm and dependable as their animal symbol. Not only are they modest but they are able to bear nearly any amount of hardship without complaint. Logical and systematic to the point of having little imagination, an ox person with their mind made up is rarely dissuaded from their decision. Because of their honesty and patience, these people are always welcome and typically have many friends who appreciate their quiet but relaxed sociability." Not being Chinese I got my information from this site is http://www.hillmanweb.com/newyear/

Famous people born under in Ox years

Barak Obama, Johann Sebastian Bach, Shirley Bassey, Kate Beckinsale, Napoleon Bonaparte, Charlie Chaplin, George Clooney, Bill Cosby, Oscar De La Hoya, Walt Disney, Moctesuma Esparza, Jane Fonda, Clark Gable, Jorge Garcia, Nomar Garciaparra, Richard Gere, Whoopi Goldberg, George Frideric Handel, Adolph Hitler, Dustin Hoffman, Anthony Hopkins, Rock Hudson, Saddam Hussien, Keira Knightley, Kate Moss, Eddie Murphy, Paul Newman, Jack Nicholson, Richard Nixon, Princess Diana, Robert Redford, Meg Ryan, Peter Sellers, Bruce Springsteen, Meryl Streep, Margaret Thatcher, Vincent Van Gogh.Sigourney Weaver, Anton Dvorak

Saying farewell to a friend

Yesterday we attended a memorial service for our friend who died just before Christmas today. She was ever thoughtful and I think postponed the get together so her death wouldn't be associated with the holidays. Her nieces invited everyone to come to Reata, a restaurant downtown. Her doctor talked about her courage in her battle with cancer and read a poem he had written about her fight. Others spoke of how we remembered her and they were wonderful stories. The nieces arranged for a buffet and drinks. Barbara would have loved it! We were in the geodesic dome on top of the building which is made of glass so she could look down on us and see how much she was loved. I will miss her, but am so glad we were friends.

Greenhouse update

Greenhouse update

Having the greenhouse this year has been a lot of fun. It has been a very warm winter and we have had to stay on top of keeping the door open so the heat doesn't become too overwhelming for the little plants. I'll be starting some seedlings soon, but need to find some seeds first. This is the only time of year a gardener gets to really rest a bit. But the weather has been so warm this week....in advance of the huge cold front coming tonight, that I've had cabin fever and longing to get out and start planting. We did plant some garlic that had sprouted yesterday. Also with the economy like it is, we may need to grow actual food in it.

Spring will be here soon enough and with it a lot of great storms. We are in a drought right now and I'm getting ready to get the rain stick out and do a dance. My rain stick is much larger and way way cooler than this guy's but here is a You tube so you know what I'm talking about. Does the guy in the you tube look sort of weird. I think so. Anyway, I bought my rain stick in New Mexico or Colorado one year when we went to Mesa Verde. It has a very pleasant sound and I do think it maybe calls the rain. At least it sounds like rain for a few seconds or as long as I turn it back and forth. Rain is one of my favorite things. I grew up during a 7 year drought, so I love it.

Thank goodness we have raged against the machine and prevailed!

Oh my goodness we have conquered our fear of electronics and got all my cds converted and loaded onto the new Ipod! It is pretty darn awesome and I wish I'd bought one much sooner. I bought a dock with speakers, too, so I can take it outside this summer..or spring and share all my tunes with my neighbors. HA! It is very cool to have such a range of music playing on shuffle right now. It is way down the road for this, but I love it and may never carry it around with me, but there is an adapter that will let me play it in the car.

We also got new cell phones and got the sims transfered with only minor hassles. However, mine is in my purse right now. I haven't figured out the ring tones, if there are any and don't want to dl some crummy tune that is not cool. I think the coolest ringtone evah would be "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash, but we haven't been able to find it.

We went to the high school group meeting tonight and we are all getting so old and stuff that we have decided we all need to wear name tags. That would be ok for me, because I didn't graduate with them...just married one of 'em. There will be a big reunion later in the year to celebrate the year of their graduation! Aggh, I must lose weight and all that, but hey... they are much older than I. They were all gone from our high school by the time I got there. But it is good fun getting together and trying to figure out who is who each month. LOL I think we all have a touch of Alzheimer's...at least tonight we did a bit. I found a long lost cousin in that mix of people and also one of the guys is married to a woman I used to work with.

Man, I have some really good tunes and a wide variety, too. I'm loving this Ipod thing and have no idea who some of the artists are, since I haven't listened to them like this before. One or more of the cds were from concerts from around here, so you know there is some good ole Austin sounds going on along with Iz and some classical and some Willie Nelson just came on singing with someone I do not recognize.

I've not got the Itunes thing figured out yet, but there are a couple albums I want to buy. Los Lobos' "El Corazon y La Pistola" is very good. I bought the cassette right after coming back from studying in Cuernavaca. Also, Linda Ronstadt's "Canciones de mis Padres" needs to be updated from a cassette via Itunes. I don't know if there is technology to take the music from a cassette to cd or not. I listened a bit to the music from "Slumdog Millionaire" tonight and we must get to the theater to see it. I think it is going to be a good movie and I think I'll like the music. It might be on the list of to buy ones. We'll see. Aha...Harry Connick, Jr. is on now.

We cleaned the house today, so I can kick back some tomorrow and play with the new toys. I took some pics of the goings on in the greenhouse the other day and will try to get them posted soon. I'd hoped to get some posted for Ruby Tuesday, but well, you know.

Take care and like my friend Kate in Scotland signs off saying something like OOXX from the land of the tartan....well, night night from the land of the bluebonnets.

Changing of the guard

It is an historic day today and I'm praying all goes well. It feels so exciting to have a change from the old guard. Having a young sophisticated first family with children is refreshing. Mrs. Obama has a degree from Harvard and is an attorney, but seems so down to earth and motherly. President Obama seems to be intelligent and hopefully he can get us out of some of the quagmires in which the United States has become stuck during the past 8 years. God bless us and protect us during this transition.

200th post

Oh my gosh...this is my 200th post! How time and words fly.

Today was errand day and thank goodness I checked some addresses before leaving home. Our Neighborhood Association is going to put some toppers on our street signs. It shows pride in our neighborhood and the toppers show the boundaries of our area. Our secretary came by last night to leave off the paperwork and show me the final graphic for the toppers, plus she needed a check. We talked for a while and she and her daughter are leaving for a cruise this weekend so I told her I'd take the paperwork down to wherever it needed to go. She was thankful to not have to mess with that task any longer and really needed the time to get her clothes ready. The address she had was different from an address I'd gotten from another lady from the city. I checked the maps for the closest and the one I'd gotten was closer, so off I went. The lady I needed to see wasn't in today, but I was told I could leave the paperwork with Rose, her co-worker. While talking with Rose I found out the other address is now a parking lot. There is nothing there any longer. So, I was very glad that I'd checked. I didn't get the scenic tour, but what a hassle if I'd gone there and didn't know where the other place was located.

We looked at new cell phones today. Enough said. I'm not ready to get into that right now anyway. The ATT store doesn't really have the "free" phones in the store. You have to get them on the web.

The cds of Israel Kamakawiwo'ole and Houston Marchman I ordered this past weekend came today and oh I love them so. If you go to Amazon you can listen to Marchman's songs from his new cd "Naked" but not Iz's and that Lonestar website is really pretty cool. You have to go to You Tube to decide about Iz's. I'd bought, was given, or somehow wound up with Houston Marchman's "Blue Cadillac" cd sometime or other and it was in my car cd player. We would play it when going on a long trip and always liked it and finally I started looking at it to see who was singing. I really like him a lot. Actually I really like the voices of both singers a lot. I'm working on getting a cd player that will play several in the family room. I played the new ones on the dvd player, but since we got the HDTV we had to get an upconverting dvd player and my 5 hole dvd/cd player went to live with my daughter...dangit.

Oh yea....During the Christmas holiday rush and all I missed getting my hair cut and haven't been feeling too well since the first of the year. Today I got my hair cut and it seems soooo short. It will be better when I style it myself, but it has been a shock whenever I pass a mirror. Even my husband commented about it. Maybe the really "good" haircut was because I missed giving her a tip during the holidays. I had a card with some cash in it and gave it to her today. Maybe it should have been BEFORE the hair cut.

Pleasant weekend to all. It is going to be slow around here, so I can get some housework done. My daughter has been working terribly long hours this week so she will be resting a lot, bless her. She sounded so tired today when I talked with her for a minute or so. Maybe by Sunday she might like a meal or something. Her dad has a gift card to Johnny Carino's and since I'm on this weird diet he could take her for a nice dinner. He needs to use it before it runs out anyway, and some time together with her would be nice for him. He is becoming a real caretaker with his parents, and taking our grandson to the movies, and helping me. He is a good man.

Yesterday I went over to check on some rental property I own and discovered the natural gas was not on and the meter had been replaced with a new one. I hadn't received any notice about this and was very upset wondering how long it had been off. The property has been vacant for some months and I keep the utilities going so the "property manager" can show it properly. I think he has finally found a tenant, but the gas had to be left on because it is going to be very cold the next few days. We finally got in touch with the gas company and they had had to make some repairs on their side and they said they had put a door hanger out to let someone know. I hadn't seen it and the property manager hadn't mentioned it to me. Lot of good it did and they managed to get the bill to us. Anyway, I got them to come this morning to get it turned on today. Natural gas can't be turned on without a rep from the company checking the appliances to make sure they are ok, and that means someone has to be there to let them in. There was no charge, but man I would have been so angry if any of the pipes had burst because of this. We are headed for 28F tonight and 22F tomorrow night and last Sunday morning it had been 24F. Better than a lot of places right now, though. I heard last night it was colder than -40F in Minnesota. That is really cold.

It was a beautiful afternoon and we went to the movies. It was a shame to waste such a lovely afternoon to see Benjamin Button, but we really wanted to see the movie and this was discount day for people with a loyalty card to the local newspaper. Buy one get one free is a real incentive for us. The movie was sweet and weird and interesting. And Slumdog Millionaire must really be something else to beat out that movie at the Golden Globes.

Later on the way home we stopped at Best Buy to look at an Ipod for me. Maybe, I'll just stick with my little radio or something. It gets very complicated and eventually costly with this and that. However, I could have the music I want where I want it. Oh bother...I'll worry about that another day.

Meetings tomorrow night again. Hope everyone had a good day and has another tomorrow with few annoyances.

Looking around

Yesterday or the day before while surfing around blog hopping I came upon a blog in India that is so well written and has such wonderful photos I was captivated. Today he had posted as a post script about a PBS and BBC program about The Story of India. I tivoed it while at my knitting group meeting tonight and watched one tonight. It is jaw droppingly beautiful and majestic. I think we have missed the first two episodes, but maybe they will rerun it soon. Both the blog and the webpage about the program are well worth a look.

Rambling about globes

We have been watching the Golden Globes and man we have got to start spending a lot of time in movie theaters. I so want to see "Slumdog Millionaire" on the big screen and I'll have to go to Arlington to see it at the theater where it is still showing. I've told you guys about my fascination with Bollywood. There are so many movies I hadn't known anything about, so we must get busy.

Kate Winslet just won her third GG! What a year for her!!

Soon it will be time to start planting and now is the time to start planning the garden. I'm planting all the tomatoes I can get in the ground and in the greenhouse. During Christmas my sister had some extra Campari tomatoes she gave us, small globes of total goodness. After the festivities there were some, a couple of boxes, left. One day I roasted them in the oven at 200 degrees for 8 hours with a bit of olive oil and oregano and OMG they are the most delicious, intensely flavored tomatoes ever. I put all the tomatoes we had to bring in when it was going to freeze that were still green. They had gone ahead and ripened against all expectation, so in they went as well. They have been so wonderful on toasted bread rubbed with roasted garlic. Shopping at more "ethnic" grocery stores lately has the benefit of being able to purchase garlic at 10 heads for $1. That is a very good deal. Tonight we had spaghetti and since I can't eat meat I bought plain marinara sauce and added some of the roasted tomatoes. It was so delicious I didn't want to quit, but I was satisfied. Maybe, something that is truly fabulous tasting doesn't need more than just some at a meal. Now you know my passion for all things tomato. On my birthday that was the best dish we cooked...well, those weren't cooked. My daughter and I bought some Comparis at Sam's and some heirlooms at Central Market along with some little mozzarella cheeses and the whole thing drizzled with a bit of balsamic vinegar...yummy! Those were better than the steaks that were very delicious that night.

The meatless diet has been recent...since the gout thing started right before Christmas. I can have small amounts from time to time, but figure if I can go without meat my other issues will get better. Milk and cheese is a good source for protein. And every now and again beans and corn. That combination makes a complete protein that is hard to get on a true vegetarian diet. But the tomato bed planning is going to begin in earnest this week. I can get some cold weather crops in by Valentines and have some fresh lettuce, green onions, and peas, but once it warms up some they are goners. Here is a picture of some of our turnips I planted last August or September. Little lavender globes of tasty goodness on winter days with a pan of cornbread. I could have planted some more of them this month for another crop, but they would interfere with the lettuce and peas. This year I'm going to plant some runner beans, too. I haven't done that in ages. hmm...we may need another little bed. Good thing I picked up that sharp shooter spade down at Mike's nursery when they had a sale the other day. That is another story about which shovel is the best, but needless to say I love a good sharp shooter.

I'm rambling and not making a lot of sense while watching the tv and being glad for Mickey Rourk that he won the Golden Globe for "Wrestler", even while wondering if he understands what he has regained making a comeback from turning his back on Hollywood for many years and hitting rock bottom with the drinking and drugs. It is another one on my extensive list of movies now. Marisa Tomei plays in it as well.

It has been a slow weekend. My hand has been hurting again and now I have some fever. Enough of my whining though. Time to make an appointment with a rhuematologist and be done with this and get some good treatment.

Oh yes...we were talking this weekend about maybe taking a driving trip on Route 66 from Amarillo to wherever we wear out. I don't think we should try to navigate Las Angeles. Not exactly globe trotting, but would be an interesting vacation I think. We did a bit of research on the internet. I don't want to be in the desert during the summer, so we were thinking spring. If anyone has knowledge about New Mexico, Arizona, and California in the spring any input would be appreciated. We have gone to New Mexico in July and it was still cool in the mountains. Guess I won't get to Kentucky this spring after all. I'd wanted to go that way to check out some of the yarn shops we saw when we were in Arkansas, and some in Missouri and Tennessee on another trip.

Oh yes, if you have time stop by Judy's blog, The Other Side of the Hill, to read her post about natural highs. She is a natural high herself and I really enjoyed reading the comments about what people do that takes them to a higher plane.

Tuff kitty

This just cracked me up over at LOL Cats


more animals

It is a lovely day today, but will be colder tomorrow...so I'm gonna play outside today. House stuff can wait until tomorrow. See ya when it gets colder.

What might we be missing...

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousand of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tugged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, tickets for Joshua Bell's performance at a theater in Boston were sold out and the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

This is on Snopes and is true. The Washington Post won the Pulitzer Prize for story about the experiment.

The First Ice Storm of 2009

The Iceman may be comething

Woo hoo...well, the cold front came in about midnight last night and the high today has been 40, after a balmy 83 yesterday. It came as a shock, sort of..like we don't usually believe it is really going to get that cold. We are usually surprised at our weather and talk about it a lot. Anyway, now the weather forecasters are saying we probably will have freezing rain starting about midnight tonight. Another reason I'm so glad I don't have to go to work in the morning. I can snuggle in my nice warm bed for as long as I like in the morning. And it might be a pretty good while of laying up in the bed. I went shopping with my daughter in law today and OH MY...she is a very serious shopper. My mil used to be like that back in the day. She could walk me into the ground anytime on any day. She was a marvel and my daughter in law has now got the Hard Core Shopper award. We only went to Costco and I'm frazzled, but I've now seen everything that is in the store.

While we were "shopping" our grandson went to the movies with his grandpa. I think both of them enjoyed the time together without the wimmen...ya know. After they got out of the movie they came back to the house and played football and some soccer. Their movie started about the exact same time Martha and I entered Costco. We got home at 5ish and we got there about 1:30. She wins the shopping thing hands down. I had no idea they had that much stuff in the store, but I did make a lovely dinner with the roasted chicken I bought when it started getting so late. It was roasted chicken on a bed of salad greens with campari tomatoes, carrots, a small amount of cheddar cheese, and a few sliced almonds.

I'm having to rethink the Weight Watchers thing for right now. Since the gout dx, I think it wise to make sure this gout flare up is drug induced from the diuretics for b/p and the niacin for triglycerides and not something else before signing up with them. I've discontinued those prescriptions and have a new one for the b/p that seems to be working nicely and not making me feel bad or anything. Anyway there are so many foods I can't eat right now that I think it better to wait for a while. I'm not sure the ladies who work for WW are registered dietitians and they may not take into consideration the diet restrictions and the excericse restrictions, too, right now. My diet is mostly veg and fruit with some surprising things I can and can't eat. I've lost a couple of pounds and that was before the shopping marathon today.

And tomorrow night is knitting group night and I am going. The ice will be long gone by then and last week my shoulder hurt so much I couldn't go and the week before that there was a Neighborhood Association meeting, so I haven't seen them in a long time. Even if my hand is hurting I found some things to talk to them about in one of the books I got for Christmas. There is an article about making knitting needle cases and that might be a good way to make a little extra cash. They were quite pricey at some of the fancier knitting shops when I was looking. Something to think about, even if I make some for myself. Sewing is not as repetitive as knitting. However, I'm thinking the colchicine is making it so much better.

So, I'm going to bed to read for a while before sleep and in the morning lay in the bed with no guilt at all and hope everyone gets to work safely if that is where you are headed and if not, then hope you have a wonderful day doing whatever it is you chose to do.

Oh yes, if you don't watch tv, Melli, then you won't have a clue what I was talking about in the previous post. It is a commercial.

Clearing up after the holidays...

Oh man..I've lost it. I had come in from taking down Christmas decorations from outside. We are doing it today because it is BEAUTIFUL outside. It is 82 degrees this afternoon and GORGEOUS...that is because it is going to have a norther from the north pole, Russia, and outer space come in tonight and freeze us again. The barometer thing is so low the liquid is coming out the top and running over....that is really low. It must be a biggo storm coming. Anyway, while taking a break from gathering Christmas decorations and storing them for next year I sat down inside to rest for a minute and the Sham wow guy, Vince Offer, was on tv hawking his new product the SlapChop and the Graty. For some reason this guy almost makes me want to buy the products. Not so much the SlapChop or Graty, but that ShamWow thing has nearly gotten to me a couple of times. There are a number of You Tubes on this whole ShamWow subject...some just the commercial and some not so much. There was one where Bill O'Reilly just lost his cool and said some very bad words that I won't repeat. Anyway, this Vince Offer is a phenomenon....and do you think his real name is Vince Offer?? Wow!