In laws are pretty much the same. Everyday she calls to tell us my husband's dad won't talk to her and she is very worried about him. She doesn't remember it two minutes after she hangs up the phone. She says he just wants to lay on the bed. (I made sure he was still breathing). My husband thinks his dad just doesn't want to listen to her anymore. He perks up and talks to my husband when he comes over every evening. But my fil has become very much different in the past few months. He is weaker and walks much more slowly now, in general he is slowing down like a clock that needs winding. He doesn't remember anything for long either. I think she is frightened of what is happening even though she doesn't remember talking with us about going into assisted living. The girl who comes in during the first part of the day is so very good with them, but we cannot afford round the clock care for them. It is terribly expensive.
The lady from the assisted living place called again the other evening wanting us to put up a deposit on a room that will be available at the end of the month. That sort of stirred up some anxiety on my part about what was going to happen to the person in that room at the end of the month. I guess it is sort of creepy to go missing around Halloween....doncha ya think?
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Anyway, on a lighter note I found this on LOL Cats. This is some serious armament. In my personal experience a wet cat can and will turn into a ball of claws at any time when they are wet or scared. They get ticked off by water...well, being in the water is what ticks them off so much. You will be sorry if you "make him use them" for sure.
I think that young man is from Texas...we say stuff like that a lot.
Love the picture of the "armed soldier"! lol!
ReplyDeleteSorry about your in-laws. A lot of times a room coming up means that the former occupant went into chronic care. Jack's Dad had to do that after he began assaulting people. The aggressiveness didn't last long, then he slipped into real deterioration physically.
Maribeth,
ReplyDeleteThat is what I thought, too about the assited living room. Or that the family was moving and would be taking him with them.
It has been very difficult lately. Bless her heart my mil knows something is going to happen, but she doesn't know what. Also, she can see that her husband of nearly 70 years is deteriorating and she doesn't know what to do about that, either.
Well don't know if you got your posts/comments to me straightened out or not. I certainly have learned a lot from everyone, so that is always a blessing. One lady thinks her non-smoking dad who died of lung cancer after 4 years in clinical trials(a very good record) was taking Vit E which caused his cancer. I am surely gonna follow that up too as I take a low dose of VIt E.
ReplyDeleteAssisted living still seems like a good alternative, but everyone is different. The main thing is balanced meals and a schedule. We have several in my area, some quite nice, some adequate-depends on what you can pay.
It is such a trying time for all and those of us who have been throught some phase of it can certainly empathize.
t
NW-1,
ReplyDeleteThanks and thank you for your understanding of the very difficult situation. Sometimes they are the only people we talk about all day. That ain't good. My friend, Melli, has her mil living with her. She handles everything with such grace and laughter. She seems to never get angry or short tempered with her mil. That is nearly sainthood in my book.
My mom used to live in El Campo and a brother still does. He tells me about the air being on while we are under ice or frost. Doesn't seem fair.
ReplyDeleteAbe,
ReplyDeleteIt sure doesn't seem fair when you have SNOW!! The most sought after meterological stuff a kid, or some adults I know, can think of. It is a miracle of whiteness and softness and just plain coolness. It is also good when your grandmother make snow ice cream for you with the clean snow. That shows how much she loves you for sure.
I'm wondering how the guy in the picture was ABLE to hold the CAT with only ONE hand - and not end up a bloody mess? I think that cat is stuffed! Although Freedom lets us bathe her without a fuss. Kitty on the other hand will shred anyone in a 2 mile radius with ONLY rear claws!
ReplyDeleteIt is just so sad to watch these old people lose control of their lives. I really DO think your MIL will feel more comfortable when she's IN assisted living. I think your FIL will too for that matter. They don't want to give up their independence... but once it's gone they will feel relief from knowing that they don't HAVE to worry about everything anymore. Every time Mom starts to worry about something and Dennis or I say, it's OKAY Mom, we've got that taken care of... she gives this peppy little "'kay!" ... like "oh! Isn't that wonderful!" Because it really IS worrisome getting old... *sigh*
I am so sorry that you are going through this, that your in laws are going through this. My husband's mother is in a similar situation and I see how it utterly destroys him each time he sees or talks to her. I never got to know her before she started to slip away, and in many ways I am somewhat grateful while also sad that I will never know his "real" mom. It is SO hard for everyone involved and oh how the heart aches. This is my first time visiting your blog but just from this post alone I wish I could send you a virtual hug.
ReplyDeleteHi!
ReplyDeleteLolcats RULE!
Best wishes,
Skeeter