Monday, December 21, 2009

Being called to the principal's office

So, on the assisted living front with my mil in full baying mode life is not so good. Yesterday she interrupted a church service, to let them know all about it. From now on my husband and I will have to wear a disguise if we were ever to go back. Actually, he is down at the facility talking to the administrator of the facility right now. Her doctor has finally gotten around to prescribing something a little stronger than Zanax twice a day and hopefully this will calm her down some. Sheesh! The other residents are complaining about her. She can't go home, but there are a lot of homes out there that are certainly not as nice as this one that costs a fortune every month, and we are trying to figure out what they do for that much money.

I told my husband this is like when the kids were in school and they would do something goofy and we would get the call from the school. She really needs to be in the Alzheimer's ward. It is more expensive, but this just isn't working out. The hospital is keeping my fil again today. I think they are shocked at the level of dementia he has, and they are having other doctors come in to evaluate him. His primary doctor has NO idea how bad it is with him or her, and I'm pretty mad about that. She used to complain how he wouldn't talk to her when she had an appointment, but would look at the computer and give her a prescription. I guess he was practicing medicine by osmosis or something.


  1. It doesn't surprise me AT ALL. If nobody of sound mind was going WITH them to the doctor, they are VERY good at hiding their dimentia. The doctors will only ask a question ONE time. And if they give a reasonable answer then they don't have any reason to question it. MOST of the patients they see, are honestly only showing up because they HAVE to to get their prescription refills. If your mil or fil walked into the office and the doctor said how are you doing - they're common response would be "fine" and he would say "are your medications still working for you?" and they would say "yes" and he would listen to their heart, take their weight and blood pressure -- and if that's all good, and they don't SAY that something is wrong -- and in THEIR MINDS nothing IS wrong - then he writes the script and out they go! I can TOTALLY see it! I go with Mom to EVERY visit and I let the doctor talk to her and see how it goes. THEN I tell the doctor whats going on! If no one else has gone IN to the examining room with them - then as far as the doctor knows everything is hunky dory! I don't think you can really lay this one on the doctor... UNLESS you have been there and TOLD him they have MAJOR forgetfullness. If no one has ever told him this is an issue... then it isn't. (as far as he knows)

    Now ... I have issues with Mom's EYE doctor -- because I have MADE SURE they put it IN HER FILE that she has late stage alzheimers. And he STILL tries to rope her in to Field of Vision test EVERY time I take her in! She CAN'T do it. It requires her to watch the dot AND push a button when she can see it. She can't remember those directions long enough for the FIRST dot -- much less any more than that! It's too many directions! He just wants her money! I'm ready to tell him to take a hike! But she has glaucoma and NEEDS the meds. AND he's the doc that did her cornea transplant and THAT has to have an eye kept on it. GRRRRRR.... he drives me nuts!

  2. OMG your blog and Melli's comments had me right there in the doctor's office ! Dementia is a scary thing and having watched my Dad with it and my Mum cope with him having it I try to remember to ask the man upstairs to spare me that particular nightmare...

    Changing the subject a bit .... I hope you and yours have a Happy Christmas and a Guid (Good in English) New year ... Love Kate x.

  3. Whenever this saga reaches some sad finality, you have the beginnings of a book with your blog.

    Lots of books on Alzheimers and dementia are written and sell well.

    Coping with a long-time illness with a subtitle, the long goodbye, finds empathetic readers. It probably in its own right more difficult than dealing with cancer.

  4. In curable illness is an awful thing to deal with, My doctor was very honest when he told me my husband had only months to live with Brain Cancer as only three days previously I had lost my mother. It took a long time to get over his passing......he died just 2 months after mum. I had to learn to accept what life had thrown at me only then could I start to live again.