Sunday, January 10, 2010

It Looks Like 2010 May Be Worse Than 2009...I'm Just Guessing Here

I'm still hacking and coughing and in general miserable, but hope it will end soon. The cold department is making up for last year when I didn't have a cold.

My poor mil had to be sent to the hospital today. Her feet have been swelling and the assisted living place where she is told us about it, but they keep her busy all the time in the day room working on crafts and stuff. I'm sure she loves that crap. She never was interested in doing anything like that. So, with being in the day room doing something she no doubt hates she can't go to her room to lie down and put her feet up. The room is smallish so her recliner wouldn't fit even if we could get it away from my fil who has taken quite a shine to it. And yet the home tells us we need to do something about it.

Back to the hospital, they were concerned her foot might be broken. They were going to xray it. She is anemic and they don't know why. They admitted her to the hospital and this evening a doctor called to ask my husband a lot of questions. One being that they needed permission to give her a transfusion of packed red cells...for the anemia. The doctor went over her meds with my husband and concluded the anti anxiety meds she is now taking was the root of the problem. I'm not a doctor or nurse or any sort of professional, but I'll bet it isn't the Zanax to help her not go insane in that place that is at the heart of all this anemia, etc.

I don't understand why the hospital couldn't have gotten the medication information faxed over to the hospital from the assisted living place that charges a freakin' fortune for 3 hots and a cot, that we provide. Not the meals, but her bed..yes we had to provide it and all bedding and towels, etc.. I'm not very happy with this whole assisted living situation. Truly I don't understand what they do. There should have been someone assisting my mil to bathe and get dressed in the morning. Someone should have noticed the bruises on her arm and the swelling in her feet and the sort of black color her toes were turning. It makes me furious that they care so little. Maybe enough to let the state know about what is going on there. I'd be more credible if I'd spent more time with her, but I've had a cold for nearly two weeks out of the 4 weeks they have been there. We can't go by there if we have a cold. I'd really hate to X out one of the elderly with my cold. The service we have been using to check her coumadin levels had come by to to check on her and that was way out of whack, too, and I'm guessing here, but I'm thinking it wasn't caused by Zanax, either. We have been involved with Integracare since my mil had a blood clot in her leg about 18 months ago or so and has been taking coumadin. They have been very careful and attentive to both my father in law and mother in law, in opposition to the place where they are now. We had to move my husband's parents from their home to somewhere else because it was very hazardous for them to be living on their own at the ages of 91 and 92. I guess it is pretty hazardous to be in this assisted living place, too.

I cared for my dad 13 years while he was in a nursing home after he had a stroke until he died. So I'm not a novice at these places. I guess the difference between the places was that he had to have skilled nursing and this place is far from being like that. He had some hard times, but was flexible enough to manage to stay on the good side of everyone, and then we would move him if it seemed things weren't just right. All the nurses loved him. I never saw a bruise on him that I didn't know about. The place is required by law to notify a family member when something happens. Being the one to notify passed between me and my half sister when one or the other of us couldn't take it any longer. He could be a handful at times.

My husband is nearly well from "the cold" and I think it would be wise if he spent a good bit of time visiting down there to see how they treat them and making unannounced visits, too. Bless her heart she can't remember anything for 2 minutes to be able to tell one of us if anyone was being unkind to her. The same goes for my fil. There will be a reckoning when I'm feeling better and am no longer contagious. I want to know why the person charged with caring for her did not notify anyone of how bad her foot was getting or how she got the bruises on her arm and why her coumadin levels weren't being checked for starters.

I called my daughter this afternoon when all this was going on and she had just been notified one of her employees had died last night. She was my daughter's age and my daughter was very upset by this woman's death.

It hasn't been a good day today...and it is now Sunday in Texas.


  1. So sorry for all your health problems, Not the best way to start the new year I agree. But surely things can only get better. I sincerely hope so.
    Take care.


  2. Oh I so much hate "bad" places that do not care well for our loved ones! Darn it all! Makes me want to hop a plane and come down there and help you raise holy h@!!
    Hang in there, darlin' the Lord is with you and your In-laws. I know he is! I'll be praying hard too!

  3. Let's pray that things will get better and they will. The hospital is no fun. I've had to go into the hospital a few times in my life and mostly all within the last 10 years.

    Blessings to you and your family for 2010.


  4. I guess there is no "assisted" in assisted living!

    I agree with you; I seriously doubt Xanax is the culprit.

    I do hope your cold doesn't hang on as long as my bronchitis did. I feel we are both nearly well

    We still have snow on the ground ant currently 5 deg. F. Finally have running water again, and believe me the faucets are dripping in total disregard for the water bill!

  5. I'm glad you two are feeling better,and sorry the in-laws are having the problems they are,those places are not as cozy as they like you to believe,but I hope you get it sorted out for them...
    And I'm with Nitwit now, keeping the finally thawed out pipes dripping,disregarding the water bill,it's one day at a time.. love ya,B.

  6. WOW! I sure hope you feel much better soon and things start to get better for you. My Bob's mother is in one of those assisted living places here and they don't do anything here either. They must all be that way. Her granddaughter goes by and cleans the place and helps her bathe, etc. She has a cat and the place smells to high heaven and so does she. Like you, I have often wondered what they are paying for and why no one ever checks on her but family.

  7. There is no news this morning from the hospital. They were getting ready to take her for an xray of her leg when we called this morning. She is balking at any more tests. Oh my. They did a CAT scan of her head last night, but my husband didn't get the results this morning.

    Thanks for hanging in there with me. If we could have brought them to our house we would have..maybe. But that would mean we would have total care of them.

  8. Why in the world did they do a CAT scan? It's her foot that's swollen! Her poor little head has nothing left in it! Sounds like this is not THE answer to your inlaws living situation. It is A answer - but not THE answer. However, since they are at least there, it does give you a little time to look around for another place.

    You are really having a NOT GOOD new year! I sure hope things improve!

  9. Judy,
    I think it is just a scam or to be nicer about it...the people who are living in the assisted living places have no one to live with them and they may be afraid to stay in their home alone.

    I'm going to get my husband...*cursing this cold* to try to find out just what the heck is going on. And those who have known me for a long time know heck is the nicest I can say right now.

    I probably need to find out if we should be cleaning the rooms, too...maybe they would like us to clean their offices, too. Sheesh!

    I don't know what the heck (he**) they are doing at the hospital, and it is a real hospital with credentials and everything. They told my husband today they thought it might be sinusitis. Sinusitis my big fat rear! That doesn't make your foot swell...I know all about sinusitis.

    My question is why is she anemic and what is making her foot swell so much.

    I asked my husband if he was going to try to pick her up from the hospital or drop another $1,100 to have an ambulance transfer her back to the place. I thought about that for a minute and shook my head...he would never get her out of the car. She told the staff at the hospital her husband had gone home and was living there. It has been a long day for everyone.

    We thought this living situation was the answer, but apparently not. They are too far gone mentally to function in society any longer but this place just isn't the answer either. I'm ready for one or the other of us to check into Wichita Falls mental hospital...or maybe all of us. Maybe we could get a group rate.

  10. my gosh. I don't even know what to say, that's a lot to deal with.

    thinking of you, and hoping everyone is doing a bit better today

  11. I think it might just be time for a nursing home. The heck with assisted living. They just need to be taken CARE of.