Wednesday, February 11, 2009

And that's when the fight started....

We survived the storms last night and had no damage, thank goodness. My prayers are with those who lost their lives and homes and businesses in Oklahoma last night when the tornado dropped down on them.

Hope all of you are safe and sound.
Sometimes when things are so bad, like the weather and the economy and so many things right now it helps to laugh. For some reason I think these are funny and I'm sure ones about men aren't far behind. I hope you get a laugh from these.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.
'I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- ---
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror..
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.
'The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect..'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- ------
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the coldcream.
And then the fight started....
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.
I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
and then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
"It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....


  1. You might want to put a warning on these. I was drinking a cup of tea and laughed so hard it came out my nose! Thanks for the chuckle and for complimenting the picture of daughter and grand boy Oz.

  2. I'd read these elsewhere previously, but they were definitely worth reading again. Now I have a grin on my face.

  3. I have seen these before! They are hilarious though! Who DOES them? Is it ummmmm.... oh shoot! You know... the "ya might be a redneck" guy?

    We are expecting high winds and rain overnight tonight... and then windy with gusts up to 50 mph tomorrow. But I'll still be inside painting. Today it was 70 degrees! GORGEOUS out - and I was STILL inside painting all day anyway! Grrrr! EVEN after Amanda called and asked me to meet her and Luz at a park. I couldn't go...

    It's sO sad about all this weather stuff. The FIRES in Australia! Oh mannnnnn.... it's all bad!

  4. These are hilarious. Glad you had no damage from the winds. We had 70mph. winds here. Thank God I had that tree cut down after the ice storm. The top was broke out and it would have surely come over on my house! Wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day and a great weekend, Amber.