Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Beat Goes On

Things did not improve much on the mil front today. She is still going on about going home. She has no idea how close she is to going to the Alzheimer's ward. The staff called last night to tell us my husband's father fell as he was coming out of the bathroom. They checked him over and he didn't seem to have suffered any ill effects from it.

Tonight they called to tell my husband she threatened one of the staff with her walker. That is very serious behavior. However, it might work out better if my fil is in the regular assisted living and she is in the Alzheimer's ward. It is allowed for him to visit her, if he wishes. My husband is going to show him how to get to the dining room so he can get a cup of coffee and maybe meet some of the guys out there, but mainly to get a break from her harping continually. I've seen people playing card games and dominos in the public areas. I don't think he would be able to remember too much how to play, but while he was with me yesterday he seemed to understand a lot more and to talk more.

It is very sad and terrible what is going on in their lives now, and I hope I don't live that long. Far better, to my way of thinking for my body to go before my mind. I'm pretty sure there won't be too much problem with that. All those years of smoking and drinking and carrying on...well, let's say I probably won't make it to 92. However, my dad made it to a very ripe old age and he was an alcoholic and had a stroke. What finally done him in was bladder cancer. Whuda thunk. It has been a very long time since I've had anything to drink and 2 years 8 months and some days since I quit smoking. April 1st will be the three year anniversary of quitting. Every now and then I wish for one, but then I smell somebody who smokes and yuck. The carrying on was never that much and probably won't be a contributing factor in my demise. All the worrying with the people I've had to care for in my life probably will be.

All of the turmoil has been so hard on my husband. His b/p was up the other day to 195/95 and he has low b/p normally. It came down during the day and was down today, but this has been very difficult. We both feel for his mother and her wish to live in her own home, but even if we got 24/7 care unless we hired nurses...and I'm not sure if an LVN would be enough or not. The aides cannot administer medications, and someone would have to buy their groceries, and it goes on and on. We gave it serious thought, but it seemed the assisted living situation seemed the best way to go for all of us. My husband doesn't have any brothers or sisters to help with them, either. It is the two of us struggling to make sense of a bad situation. We have followed all the rules and regulations. If we had continued with the way it was we might have been open to elderly abuse charges for not having someone with them all the time, and we just can't move in with them or them with us. It is hard for us, too. We haven't been anywhere in a while. A couple of years ago we got away for a few days to Port Aransas, but they were better then. We can barely get away for a movie now days.


  1. It doesn't get easier, especially when those responsible arranging or providing care, have their own health issues.

    My brother, especially aged, considerably as chief in charge of Daddy and his affairs.

  2. I leave today Sweetie, but wanted to send you hugs and blessings right now. It's not easy, but at least, the professionals know what's been going on.

  3. Amber... don't even go there! You are absolutely doing the RIGHT thing. She probably IS going to end up on the alzheimer's ward... and it is sad that they would be separated at this point in their lives... but this disease is much harder on the family than it could ever be on the patient! NO ONE is going to think unkindly toward you for the decisions your hubby is having to make. He is doing great! And you can tell him I said so!

  4. I hope your fil gets to know some of the guys and will adjust and can get away from her whenever he needs a break. It may be the best thing for her to put her on the other ward and separate them. It is very sad for all of you right now. Hopefully, they will begin to settle in and start liking the place. In a week, she will probably think she is at home. I am thinking of you and wishing you both the best.