Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Things are working out for this day,at this time, for now

Our friend left this earth yesterday evening. It was peaceful and that is a blessing. However, my daughter called last night to tell us there would not be a
viewing or funeral. His explicit request was that he be cremated and he wanted a real Irish wake. I don't think Trent was Irish, but what the heck. I guess I'll have a "virgin" drink...maybe a "Virgin Mary", he hated making those for me because it was a waste of time. Just get a bloody mary and get on with it was his way of thinking. Before I had to quit drinking, because of the arthritis meds, I asked for a Patron margarita. I thought he was going to have a stroke and swallow his tongue at such a terrible waste of good tequila.

So, we will get together and we will talk about what a character he was and how we were so lucky to have known him and to have been loved back by him. When one of our other friends died from a heart attack last fall he was broken hearted and took it very hard. I gave him a hug we both just began to weep. Sometimes we have to weep and to weep together to share the grief. I know he would love being at the party they are probably planning right now. He didn't drink but bartending was his work and he wore western shirts and a cowboy hat everyday he tended bar and he was very good at it and added some panache to a neighborhood bar where most everyone knew your name. He put people in cabs when they had too much to drink and for those he knew well, he would take them home at closing time. He was a gentleman and an all round good guy. I hope someone will be able to say that about me...well, not the guy part, but you know.

On the other hand I went to my meeting and after getting there and getting set up it seemed as if I was the only one in the building. I was. I walked over to the main part of the church and they told me the meeting is on Wednesday. We all had a good laugh. So, I left feeling like an idiot, but gathered my stuff up and went to a craft shop. I'm having a problem with some yarn I just love, but it is imported and everything on the label is in some language I don't speak...probably wouldn't make any difference. I tried the yarn on size 15 needles and didn't like that. The knitting was too loose. Then I tried some size 11s and the knit was a bit tighter than seemed right. I bought some size 13s but I'm too tired to cast on and start tonight. It will have to wait until another day. It is sort of like the Three Bears around here. While I was at the craft store they had marked down some spring flower arrangements to half off, so I picked one up for my mil. Hubby told me after I got home she had had a really good day and had been very pleased with the clothes I'd washed and ironed for her. Hopefully she will like the silk flowers. They are very bright and springy.

The rest of the day was a lot of walking and shopping. My legs and feet are wanting to go to sleep soon. They are very tired. We stopped by Ulta to get her some hair products and hair spray and some things to make her prettier. The hairdresser at the place came over to the memory care side and cut and curled her hair. That makes you feel so much better. It was a gift from our oldest daughter. There are going to be some changes at that place. I don't know if it is because we raise the roof when stuff doesn't make any sense or not. However, now the hairdresser who has only been allowed to do the full hair treatment...as is wash, curl, style on the side were the people have a little more sense left to them, will now be allowed to come over to the memory care side and do the same for them. Maybe this will all work out ok. My husband said his dad was in a good mood and was playing a game with some of the guys. There aren't nearly as many guys as there are women on either side of the home. I used to get so tickled at my dad about the women where he was. He'd tell me how he had such a hard time keeping those "old wimmen" out of his bed. Remember he was paralyzed on one side, so it really might have been sort of hard to get them out of his bed. That just cracked me up when he told me. He would sort of laugh too. I have no idea if that is a problem for my father in law or not. Hmm..I'm not asking!

I'm off again tomorrow for my meeting and I'm sure this time it is the right day and time. Thursday is lunch with the girls...and Friday is the day the home cleaners come. I'm thinking maybe we don't need them as often. If there is a really bad problem I have to fix it for them. There was mold on the shower floor in the corners. They tried some stuff and finally threw their hands in the air and declared it uncleanable. I got some powder cleaner with bleach and put it on it with an old toothbrush and after doing that twice...it is fine. I'm working myself to death doing the work for everyone. *grin*


  1. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend,may I express my sincere condolences to his family and friends:
    I have wittnessed an Irish wake as I lived in Ireland for a few years,
    they tend to celebrate the person's life rather than the passing.

    I do hope all will go well and please take care of yourself.
    God Bless

  2. So sorry for the loss of such a fine friend. I am sure at his wake, lots of fun memories will be shared. I totally agree with the premise of an Irish wake.

  3. hA HA! I am working harder since I have a housecleaner, too. But usually I am running after her to show her where things are stored, etc. But then there are things only I know what to do.

    Sounds like your fil has great sense of humor??!!!

    Your friend sounds like an all-round super person.

  4. Goodness... I'm Irish and never heard of an Irish wake! HOW could that be? I do think it is always better to celebrate a person's life ... mourning must be done too... but I guess I'm one who prefers to mourn in private, and celebrate in a gathering. At any rate... I am sorry for your loss.

    I'm glad you mil got her hair done! I'm sure it made her feel better. Mom always loves getting hers done. We don't do the curls and all anymore cuz she just pulls them out. Her hair is MUCH healthier now than it was when I was getting it curled and all... she NEVER looks like Einstein anymore! :) She still insists on pushing it back though and showing off her bald forehead! *sigh*

  5. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. Our family does much the same when someone passes. ((hugs))

  6. Yvonne,
    Thank you. I'm thinking it will go well. He was so loved by so many. Even the tough ole guys liked him so much. He was a really sweet fellow.

    Arkansas Patti,
    I think that is really the way to go, too.

    The one with the ole lady in the bed problem was my dad. I haven't the nerve to ask him. Maybe my husband will sometime. My dad was a hoot! Weird, but fun...and never mean.

    I'll try to take some pictures so you can get a real feel for an Irish wake.

  7. Oh PJ,
    I so hope you are starting to feel a little better. It is so painful when we lose our little fur babies.
    You take good care of yourself, sweetie.

  8. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's passing.

    Do enjoy the wake. It's such a beautiful way to celebrate a life.