Friday, March 19, 2010

Browsing Old Cemeteries

A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour, and, one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries. Here are some some fascinating epitaphs on old tombstones!

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany , New York :

Born 1903--Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the

car was on the way down. It was.


In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no

place to go.


On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in

East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia :

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only The Good Die Young.


In a London , England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid

but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767


In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread, And

the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace

wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.


In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast.... Pardon him

for not rising.


In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.

Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.


In a Silver City, Nevada , cemetery:

Here lays The Kid.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.


A lawyer's epitaph in England :

Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer,

and that is Strange..


John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne,

England , cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,

Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.


In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went

out of tune.


Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls ,

Vermont :

Here lies the body of our Anna,

Done to death by a banana.

It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,

But the skin of the thing that made her go.


On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket ,

Massachusetts :

Under the sod and under the trees,

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there's only the pod.

Pease shelled out and went to God.


In a cemetery in England :

Remember man, as you walk by,

As you are now, so once was I

As I am now, so shall you be.

Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent.

Until I know which way you went.


  1. These are funny! I like the last one best. There is a marker in a cemetary here that says: Here lies Mark. He was killed by thunder.
    Maybe, thunder was a horse, who knows? I don't think anyone has actually ever been killed by Have a good weekend.

  2. Most humourous and a joy to read, I know this is not an epitaph but this happened many years ago. My late husband, eldest son and myself were visiting my father-in-law's grave, husband said to son"Please take these dead flowers to the rubbish bin" son came back with a grin on his face saying on putting the flowers in the bin he saw a notice which read
    being a cemetary and crematorium we saw the funny side.
    Loved the post.
    Take care.

  3. Love clever epitaphs, In Key West there is one for an obvious hypochondriac.
    "I told you I was sick."

  4. oh my goodness, these are good!

  5. ACK! One more reason I don't want a tombstone! Or a tomb! Or a stone! LOL! WHAT were these people THINKING???

  6. I get so tickled at clever sayings on headstones. They are like bad jokes...Lord I love 'em. I wonder if the person who is in the grave made up their own. Some didn' the gunfighter, but some took some thinkin'.

  7. Oh Melli...a hunnerd years from now people will still be laughing with you if you have a good one. I was talking with my husband the other day and told him to have me cremated and put in a Folger's coffee in "The Big Lebowski". That cracked me know how I crack myself up all the time anyway.

  8. That was fun. I don't think there are any clever ones around here.