Friday, March 19, 2010

Browsing Old Cemeteries


A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour, and, one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries. Here are some some fascinating epitaphs on old tombstones!


Harry Edsel Smith of Albany , New York :

Born 1903--Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the

car was on the way down. It was.

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In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no

place to go.

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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in

East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia :

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only The Good Die Young.

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In a London , England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid

but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

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In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread, And

the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace

wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.

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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast.... Pardon him

for not rising.

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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.

Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

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In a Silver City, Nevada , cemetery:

Here lays The Kid.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.

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A lawyer's epitaph in England :

Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer,

and that is Strange..

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John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne,

England , cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,

Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

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In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went

out of tune.

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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls ,

Vermont :

Here lies the body of our Anna,

Done to death by a banana.

It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,

But the skin of the thing that made her go.

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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket ,

Massachusetts :

Under the sod and under the trees,

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there's only the pod.

Pease shelled out and went to God.

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In a cemetery in England :

Remember man, as you walk by,

As you are now, so once was I

As I am now, so shall you be.

Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent.

Until I know which way you went.

8 comments:

  1. These are funny! I like the last one best. There is a marker in a cemetary here that says: Here lies Mark. He was killed by thunder.
    Maybe, thunder was a horse, who knows? I don't think anyone has actually ever been killed by thunder.lol. Have a good weekend.

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  2. Most humourous and a joy to read, I know this is not an epitaph but this happened many years ago. My late husband, eldest son and myself were visiting my father-in-law's grave, husband said to son"Please take these dead flowers to the rubbish bin" son came back with a grin on his face saying on putting the flowers in the bin he saw a notice which read
    "NO HOT ASHES TO BE DEPOSITIED HERE"
    being a cemetary and crematorium we saw the funny side.
    Loved the post.
    Take care.
    Yvonne.

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  3. Love clever epitaphs, In Key West there is one for an obvious hypochondriac.
    "I told you I was sick."

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  4. oh my goodness, these are good!

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  5. ACK! One more reason I don't want a tombstone! Or a tomb! Or a stone! LOL! WHAT were these people THINKING???

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  6. I get so tickled at clever sayings on headstones. They are like bad jokes...Lord I love 'em. I wonder if the person who is in the grave made up their own. Some didn't...like the gunfighter, but some took some thinkin'.

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  7. Oh Melli...a hunnerd years from now people will still be laughing with you if you have a good one. I was talking with my husband the other day and told him to have me cremated and put in a Folger's coffee can....like in "The Big Lebowski". That cracked me up....you know how I crack myself up all the time anyway.

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  8. That was fun. I don't think there are any clever ones around here.
    Kat

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